 It takes all types to make a world.
Are you familiar with the Darwin awards? It’s an
annual honor given to the person who did the gene pool the biggest service by killing
themselves in the most extraordinarily stupid way. Last year’s winner was the fellow
who was killed by a Coke machine which toppled over on top of him as he was attempting to
tip a free soda out of it.
This is the story of this year’s winner:
The Arizona Highway Patrol came upon a pile of smoldering metal embedded into the side of
a cliff rising above the road at the apex of a curve. The wreckage resembled the site of
an airplane crash, but was in fact a car. The type of car could not be identified at the
scene, but the AHP lab finally figured out what it was and what had happened.
It seems that a guy had somehow gotten hold of a JATO unit (Jet Assisted
Take Off actually a solid fuel rocket) that is used to give heavy military transport
planes an extra “push” for taking off from short airfields. He had driven his
Chevy Impala out into the desert and found a long, straight section of road. He then
attached the JATO unit to the Impala, jumped in, got some speed up and fired off the JATO!
The facts, as best as could be determined, are that the operator of the ‘67 Impala
fired the rocket at a distance of approximately 3.5 miles from the crash site. This was
established by the prominently scorched and melted asphalt at that location. The JATO, if
operating properly, would have reached maximum thrust within 5 seconds, causing the Impala
to reach speeds well in excess of 350 mph and continuing this maximum thrust for 20-25
seconds. The driver (soon to be pilot), most likely would have experienced G-forces
usually reserved for dog-fighting jet fighter jocks under full afterburner, basically
rendering him insignificant for the rest of the event.
The automobile remained on the straight highway for about 2.5 miles (about 15-20 seconds)
before the driver applied the brakes, which promptly and completely melted, blowing the
tires and leaving long, thick rubber marks on the highway. The car then became airborne
for an additional mile or so and impacted the cliff face at a height of 125 feet, leaving
a blackened, charred crater 3 feet deep in the rock!
Most of the driver’s remains were not recoverable, however, small fragments of bone,
teeth and hair were extracted from the crater, and fingernail and bone shards were removed
from the steering wheel.
Only goes to show . . . speeding never killed anybody stopping did.
Kowalski Rides Again! |
Our source deep within the bowels of the Hollywood movie machine brings
us word of a project sure to please every fan of the original Vanishing Point movie:
There’s been a remake! The Fox Broadcasting Company will be showing the new version
sometime this fall.
The storyline has been updated for the ‘90s (the original was made in ‘71), and
a couple of other twists were thrown in for good measure. Fortunately for muscle car fans
the true star of the movie, a 1970 Challenger R/T, has made the two-decade trip (it just
wouldn’t be the same if Kowalski drove a Neon, now would it?). The remake stars Viggo
Mortensen (Viggo was Denzel Washington’s buddy, “Weps”, in “Crimson
Tide”) as Jimmy Kowalski (that’s right, he’s grown a first name in this
version). And as a tribute to another great car-chase movie, “Bullitt”, the
Challenger’s being chased by a ‘68 Charger. Cool.
The production company reportedly used 3 Challengers in the remake, one of which was
destroyed (had to be a slant six car!) recreating the famous bulldozer scene. Trivia
question: What kind of car was actually rammed into the bulldozers in the original movie?
Obviously we haven’t see it yet, but with two classic Chrysler muscle cars in it, we
already give it two thumbs up! |
|